Short jokes
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?
SawCon deez nutz!
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?