Short jokes
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
"Hey babe!"
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"