Short jokes

What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?

"My bum hurts!"

Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.

Jesus is great because Jesus is good. Amen.

I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.

Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).

Fraser smells.

riding (DYM 145).

Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?

Sally's used to being blind!

Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?

1 baby in 10 buckets.

What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?

They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.

What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.

I have a match!

My ass, your face.

What is a pooper man called? A dentist.

Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.

Me: Wow, they found the body already?

Dad: :/

Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?

I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.

So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.

How is your cereal? Oh, wait.

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

Nice cock, bitch.