Shock jokes

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.

Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell shocked.

This page is shocking.

What's wrong with you people?

What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?

Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.

I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.

We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.

The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"

I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.

What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?

Shell shock!

A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.