Shes

Shes jokes

Swing

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Not Sarah.

Priest

A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."

She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.

The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

Mama

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple, it became Sunken Temple.

Memes

May

What y'all think of my drawing?? And don't mind May....she was calling me gay

A drawing of three faces with text "how to draw a man's face" at the top. Two faces are drawn in black ink, one with slightly open eyes and mouth, the other one with closed lips. The third face is drawn in red ink and has a furrowed brow.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.

Candy

One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she went into an elevator, she had to go down.

Mama

Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.

Bus

Why isn't the athlete in the full bus? Because she is trying to fit in.

Friend

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for youβ€”happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

Name

When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?

She borrows her husband's last name.

Angel

My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!

Especially in bed...

Friend

Friend: Do you think she likes me?

Me: Yah.

Friend: ReallyπŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€?

Me: Hell no.

Friend: πŸ˜₯πŸ˜“πŸ˜«πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ You did not have to be so honest.

Fruit Punch

I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.

Minivan

Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"

Drink

Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.