Shes

Shes jokes

DM

She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.

Car Seat

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

Mama

Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

Dad

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

Balance

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Memes

Friend

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

Mama

Yo mama so fat... she brought a spoon... to the SUPER BOOOOOOWL! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Momma

Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!

Karaoke

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

Wife

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.

She is not “fun to be around.”

Yo Momma

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

Plane

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.