Shes Jokes

A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.

The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"

The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."

The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"

The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."

The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"

The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."

The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"

The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."

Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her where her parents were, and she started to cry even more.

Man, I love working in the orphanage.

I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.

She gave me a hug.

Yo mama so stupid,

she thought DUNKIN' DONUTS was a basketball team.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.

Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"

Why did your mom cross the road?

Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.

The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Yo mama so small that she tried to hike Mountain Dew.

My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.