My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
Shes Jokes
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Yo mama is such a creep; she thought PTSD stood for "Please Touch Small Dicks."
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
