Shes jokes

Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?

Because she always gets a Royal flush!

Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.

Yo mama is so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."

Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.

She's not the only one who can play that game.

Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.