She jokes
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the roof of a Walmart, it lowered the prices.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Your mama so fat she sunk the HMS ship!
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!