She jokes

Sister

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

Mom

Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.

Sister

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

Mom

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Farmer

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

Train Driver

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

Dog

A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

"What are you doing all day?"

"Knot a lot."

Mamma

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!

Shit

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

Blonde

How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.

Mom

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"