She jokes
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
Yo momma's so ugly that she made One Direction turn into the Other Directions.
Yo momma is so dumb that she couldn't even get three words into this joke. Maybe that's why she gave it a thumb's down...
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.
Lucky for me I'm only 210.
You know why they call her Wonder Woman?
She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!