Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"
She Jokes
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
Yo momma's so ugly that she made One Direction turn into the Other Directions.
Yo momma is so dumb that she couldn't even get three words into this joke. Maybe that's why she gave it a thumb's down...
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.
Lucky for me I'm only 210.
You know why they call her Wonder Woman?
She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.