how can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her? change your name to "rape"
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them mommy or daddy.
Sex is like show and tell, you show your pussy and dick and then you tell each other how you feel
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me
Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off
yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex I could not think that her mother is so hot
what will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast
what do girls after sex with Pinocchio? wash off the birch sap from the face
I seen a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test cam back and I have hives from my sister.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
Little red riding hood says to the wolf: what a big dick you have wolf:the better to F*** you with!
Fancy playing rodeo sex? “ ok then” she said !! then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as ya sisters ass and hold on for dear life .. real life cow bow boy shit !!!
i not going bungi jumping i was born by broken rubber and thats not how im going out
i like dick
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark, turns out he just wanted to have sex
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding... ...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically,"No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
Person 1:Yassin has sex with a piece of sex Person 2: nice, can I have some of your balls
why do men like big tits and a flat ass? because they got little dicks and big mouths.
what does the sign say on the hooker house say afterwards they were on lockdown? A. We're on lockdown get lost pervert.
what does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common? A. both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
