Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said "Honey, I flat chested. The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex. The next day, the wife said "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."...
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing)
Man: Ah.. suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore..
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? -- Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts
Leave a like if your like sex and porn.and talk to me if any question
In India 3 things are wide and far everywhere,but no one admits racism,sexism and Sunny ka jism.
what is similar between sex, and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
many years of sex in the dark. The wife find out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says "explain the dildo prick" the husband says "explain the children bitch"!
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating? They like to bone a petite
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
Yep this happens when u play g.t.a good god
A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud. "Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot" says the bird. "Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!" "I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird. "Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs." "Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers." "Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?" "Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I can not afford that." "Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman." "What!?" says the man. "Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth." "And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?" "Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere." "My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?" "Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down." "And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams . "No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick ..."
