What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Sex Jokes
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
