Sex jokes
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Give a blowjob.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
6 looks like someone facing up.
9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.
SEX Some Event Xaern
Xaern - loving something so much you begin to dislike it.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
I have a penis, and sometimes I bite it.
Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
Why didn't the wife want sex?
Because they were having too many babies.
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
Gwen pegs Xzavier.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
*guitar solo*
I'm doin' your mom. Yes, yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers. Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen but her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans. I approached her in the checkout line, and said, "Yo baby wassup?" She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs. Five minutes later she agreed to get with me so we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart. I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start. She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again. How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it. She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it. Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."