Sex jokes
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Who needs sex when they have Valorant?
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"