Sex jokes

I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.

I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.

Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:

Starters - Foreplay

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl

Dessert - Blowy

Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

Who wants a spot of bukkake for bedtime?

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?

To play Star Wars.

I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!

Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?

They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing with the bent one.

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!