Self-awareness jokes

Me: Do you know a funny joke?

Friend: Yes, you.

Look in the mirror.

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.

1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

Wanna hear a mean joke?

My life.

Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”

I'm the joke.

Who are you?

Yourself.

I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.

But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?

I have a new joke.

My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

If you read this, your life is a joke.

Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.

Me: I know why you don't have friends.

Kid: Why?

Me: Because you can't even figure that out.

Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!

You. You're the joke.

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

you.