Self-awareness jokes

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: I don't know anymore.

Want to hear a dad joke? Look in the mirror. You get the joke.

Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.

Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?

Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.

Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.

Why am I idiot?

What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?

"Haloomi."

Q: What’s the difference between me and you?

A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

Me and my receding hairline? Believe me, we go way back.

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

The best joke in the world is me.

Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.

I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.

When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.

I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.

I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.