Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
I'm not completely useless....
I can be used as a bad example!
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
I'm the joke.
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
I have a new joke.
My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.
Who am I?
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
Look in the mirror.
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.