Seen jokes

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.

Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?

Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.

Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?

Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.

Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?

Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.

Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"

My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.

Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.

You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!

Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"