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The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

IDK! WHY?

To go see yo mama!

A disabled man stands up.

A blind man says, "You can stand?"

A deaf man says, "You can see?"

A mute person says, "You can hear?"

The disabled man says, "You can talk!"

Doctor: "What the actual f**k"

Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?

They're out of plane sight.

Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?

A: See you on the flip side.

Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?

Getting the water bill.

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"

Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?

He didn't have the guts to see it.

What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!

As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.

So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."