See jokes

Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?

Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.

I see that you start work at 9am, but your hairline starts at 9:15am.

A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.

The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.

The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"

The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

I could never date a midget.

We would never see eye to eye.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

IDK! WHY?

To go see yo mama!

Tell someone to spell "Icup."

Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"

POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.

Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?

They're out of plane sight.

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?

A: See you on the flip side.

Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"