See jokes

Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.

Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.

Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.

I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.

Trying to make jokes in 2020-2021 be like:

Comedian: "When she went in front of the TV, it took an hour till you could see the screen again."

Audience: "Why you gotta be so offensive?"

Comedian: "I'm not tr-"

Audience: "Oh, so now you're trying to debate?"

Comedian: "I-"

Audience: "Now you're acting racist?!"

Little Johnny is a trucker. He stops at a bar. Johnny sees a sign that says, "Hamburgers for two dollars, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars." He walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?" She replies, "Yes, that's me." Johnny says, "Well, can you wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger?"

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.

It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."

Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.

Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.

Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.

John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.

Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.

My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"

Me: "Where?"

Friend: "In front of me."

What does the right eye say to the left eye?

Between you and me, something smells!

Teacher: What’s 2+2?

Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh

Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

What's the difference between milk and my dad?

Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.

Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!

There were two guys in an asylum. One was named Kenny, and the other was Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny acting like he was packing his bags. The nurse said, “What are you doin', Kenny?” Kenny said, “Going to Florida for the week.” The nurse said, “Alright, see ya when you get back.”

Next day, the nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny lying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. The nurse said, “What are you doing, Kenny?” Kenny said, “I am at the beach.” The nurse said, “Oh, I forgot you're in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back.” Bob's room was across the hall. The nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. The nurse said, “Goddamnit, Bob, what are you doing?” Bob said, “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny's wife right now, he is in Florida for the week.”