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Love

  • Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."

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  • Magician

  • Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

    Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

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  • Underwear

  • One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

    The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."

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  • Note

  • Note to all.

    My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!

    Woman

  • A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.

    The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?

    Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!

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  • Parking spot

  • Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.

    The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”

    As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.

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  • Weakness

  • Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

    Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.

  • 1
  • Fire

  • There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

    When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

    She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

    54 students died that day.

    Kid

  • When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

    Bing, bang, boom!

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  • Sister

  • I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

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