See jokes
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.