See jokes
I wanna see this pic of me in a bra! Where do I find it?
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Why do Chinese people need glasses to see better?
All they need to do is open their eyes.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?
Keep away from me-hee-hee.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.
The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”
Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender? Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?