See Jokes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

what do a blind person and a orphan have in comen= they both can not see there family

Knock knock Who's there? Di Di who? See, easily forgotten.

Michael Jackson broke his window what dose he say? i cant sehe

A blind guy shot up a town, I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.

I wanted to see if she was Anorexic, So I through a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a Hula hoop or inhale it.

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?

I don't know, I can never see them

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."

What do lesbian vampires say after sex?

"See you next month."

Why did the man fall into a well ? He couldn’t see that well

If two blind people meet, one of them says: Long time, no see

A guy sees a kid crying and the guy walkes up to the kid and asks were are your parents...God i love working at an orphanage

What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.

A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses, she missed very much.

She told her "Hey, long time no see."

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters? They both shoot when they see kids.

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”

Orange you glad to see me?

What’s stephen hawkins favorite song?

-They see me rolling.

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied:

"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."