Science jokes

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

Steven Hawking had dark humor.

Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.

Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?

Osmoses.

A photon is checking into a hotel.

The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?

You turn off the WiFi router.

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid.

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!

I love the way the Earth rotates.

It really makes my day!

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣

I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.

Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?

Spasticelastic.