Science jokes
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.
I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.