Science jokes

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?

The robot.

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

I love the way the Earth rotates.

It really makes my day!

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?

You turn off the WiFi router.

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid.

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣

I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.

Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.

What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?

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