Science jokes

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Ni-tro-gen!

I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

David? Mitosis.

What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?

The robot.

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?

You turn off the WiFi router.

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid.

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!

I love the way the Earth rotates.

It really makes my day!

I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.

Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?

Mother: He died.

Daughter: How did he die?

Mother: He never got recharged.

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.