Science jokes

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?

The robot.

David? Mitosis.

What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Ni-tro-gen!

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Steven Hawking had dark humor.

Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.

I love the way the Earth rotates.

It really makes my day!

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid.

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?

You turn off the WiFi router.

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.

Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.

When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:

98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!

1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.

Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!