Science jokes

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Ni-tro-gen!

I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

David? Mitosis.

What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?

The robot.

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?

You turn off the WiFi router.

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid.

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!

I love the way the Earth rotates.

It really makes my day!

I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣

I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.

Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.