Science jokes

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

David? Mitosis.

What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Ni-tro-gen!

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid.

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?

You turn off the WiFi router.

I love the way the Earth rotates.

It really makes my day!

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.

Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?

You have to look down to see him.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot wheels.