Science jokes

His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.

How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

I'm logging out.

Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.

Stephen Hawking didn’t die.

His charger broke.

Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?

He couldn’t stand anyone...

What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?

The cow didn’t make it.

A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?

I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Ni-tro-gen!

What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?

The robot.

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?

Oppenheimer

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.