Science jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Memes
FUCK YEA
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."