Science jokes
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
He was telling the truth in a different way...
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
David? Mitosis.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."