How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
