Science jokes

Stephen Hawking didn’t die.

His charger broke.

Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

I'm logging out.

Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?

He couldn’t stand anyone...

What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?

The cow didn’t make it.

His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"

A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

A photon is checking into a hotel.

The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?

Osmoses.

Actually, Iron Man is female.

what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?

Oppenheimer

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?

I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.