Shooting

Anonymous

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s chips not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.

Pencil

Smart one kendal

What do you call a broken pencil never mind it’s pointless!!

Game

Anonymous

when you loose a game of Kahoot so you kashoot up the school

Mum

Alwaysfunny14

The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

Kid

Jason Dean

Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That’s when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom “bullets” we don’t talk about this anymore

Kid

Pumped Up Kicks

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.

Legs

Anonymous

This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…”

Shooting

Hue G. Rection

How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?

They never get old.

Die

MyJokesRBetterThanYours

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm… Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie isn’t that your adopted.” Says the dad.

Difference

Anonymous

Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van?

Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

Kid

Anonymous

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

Puns

Tim Marilyn

Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.

Sister

Anonymous

So there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, what is one plus one? She said I HATE YOU. Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, My buns are burning. Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Bobby said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! The principal yelled, HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?! Then he said, 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, my buns are burning.

America

Anonymous

What’s an abreviation for school in America

Shooting range

Jokes just as dead as the victims

Puns

NotAPun

There was a kidnapping at school…

Don´t worry, he woke up.

Slowing

Evan

Say what you want about Pedophiles but at least they drive slow through school zones

Depression

Anonymous

What do you call a high school student? Alone and depressed.

Kid

EnderGardian28

The teacher of the ELA class sead that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next ot the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he sead, Me im going home. Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and sead,“At the end of this ruler is a idiot”, he got suspended for asking witch end.

Man

ImPorkingYourMom

I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say “Dad I have to go to school soon”

Depression

RandomNameCuzI'mLazy 6^6

Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T

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