School jokes
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny? Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
Yo momma so dumb, she failed movie day.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
Like if you can relate
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.
Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.
My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
Why is 6 scared of 7?
7 ate 9 and 10!
Who is the smartest student in school?
The scholar.
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
What do you call a school bus that you cannot drive?
A friend.