Your hairline so far back I learned about it in history class
Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you
Students: Eggs
Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you
Kids: Bacon
Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you
Kids: Homework
Someone asked me why I'm Still here...the answer is simple I don't want to be used as a school assembly
Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
A teacher asks a boy in her class "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says "The one sucking it." The boy says "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home to do it at.
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
Teacher: Ok class I'm going to ask a question about your family. Alex: Miss my Dad died In 9/11 Teacher: OH NO IM SO SORRY! Alex: Don't worry miss It was only Dad and besides he did what he wanted before he died. Teacher: What was that? Alex: Flew the plane.
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “how do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : *raises hand* Teacher : ... The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate' "
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction".
what's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school.
when you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones
I won't reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here... Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar
What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school
Man, I loved that wheelchair
