School jokes
The teacher is asking you a question.
Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"
Me: "Dead."
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent’s signature.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.
I lent my calculator to a friend. He is using it to this day.
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣