School shooting jokes

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

You give them a Sandy Hook.

Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?

Because they lost their two best shooters...

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

POV there’s a school shooting.

American: First time, European?

European: Yeah, you American?

American: No, not my first time.

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.

We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.

I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.

Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.

Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!

What song do you think was playing at the school?

"Pumped Up Kicks"

Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?

A: Because they're intended for a young audience.