School shooting

School shooting jokes

Shooting

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

School

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

School

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

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  • Memes

    School

    Why are school shootings branded “very American”?

    1. They usually happen in the USA.

    2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.

    Lift

    An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."

    School

    Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.

    Game

    When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.

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  • Kid

    The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.

    Kid

    One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

    Mom

    Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.

    School

    How do you start a school shooting at a black school?

    Call the cops.

    Man

    A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."

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  • Funeral

    So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

    Kid

    What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?

    Special Forces incoming!

    School Shooter

    The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

    The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

    The school shooter: "I don't know."

    The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

    Abbreviation

    What’s an abbreviation for school in America?

    Shooting range.

    Jokes just as dead as the victims.

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