Scan jokes
What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.
I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.
It gave me a discount!
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
Dogs can't operate MRI machines.
But cat scan!
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨