Say jokes
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?
Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.
Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.
Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!
Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*
Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.
Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”
The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!
Say: Eye Spell: Map Say: Ness
What did the fork say to the cake?
A: "I want a piece of you!"
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
Muslim religion is just pregnant women saying "Allahu Akbar" and exploding a bus.
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
Little girls cry. Big girls say, "F*ck."
What did A say to Y?
"You cannot be alpha like me." :)
Y said, "Why? (Y)"
What did Yarn Yoshi say to Poochy whilst trying to solve a puzzle?
"Alright Poochy, it's time to get crafty!"
What did the dad say to the kid?
"U got to be kidding me."
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)