A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
Say Jokes
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.
What did the Twin Towers say to the plane?
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean?
"Billie Jean is not my lover!"
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?
Family Dollar store.
What did the therapist say to the rapist yes please
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
