Say jokes

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.

A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.

The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"

Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was, like, with one, and she kept on saying, "I'm too young."

What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?

"I have runny volcanoes."

If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”

Go to the replies, look at the top and it will say "in your mum."

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.

A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

You know when people say a joke about living?

That's because we are all living a joke.

Who says white people can't jump?

Have you seen the 911 footage?

The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.

Say my name if you like "Breaking Bad."

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."