Say jokes

What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?

"Last night I had a meme."

What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?

"U Can't Touch Kids."

Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.

"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.

"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.

"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.

How do you say "fish" without the "i"?

Fsh

Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:

You) I 1 poopoo

(Them) I 2 poopoo

(You) I 3 poopoo

(Them) I 4 poopoo

(You) I 5 poopoo

(Them) I 6 poopoo

(You) I 7 poopoo

(Them) I 8 poopoo

And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”

An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.

If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

I've been raped!

Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?

What is going on here?

Breakfast! 😂

An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"

"No," replies the adopted kid.

"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.

If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.

Like if you dislike emos.

Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”

What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?

"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"

What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?