God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
Say Jokes
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? (Dam!)
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger?
It's Morphine Time.
