Say jokes

A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"

What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?

"Mine is meatier than yours."

What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?

He kicked the bucket.

The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"

One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.

Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"

"Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"

"I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."

Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."

Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."

Santa: "Done!"

Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."

Santa: "Done!"

Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"

Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."

Man: "Okay. Let's do it."

So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.

After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"

Man: "I am 35 years old."

Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"

What does a pillow say when you live for a week? "Don't forget me!"

"1v1," said Kobe. LeBron James says, "Ok, bet," and bet the money. Bro, ok, let's get it."

What did the helicopter say?

Helicopter: "Kobe!"

Girl: You are gay.

Boy: Who says I’m gay?

Girl: You ARE GAY!

Boy: You are lesbian.

Crowd: OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhbhhhbhH

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"

The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.

The kid asked him again and so on.

Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"

Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.

But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.

What did I say to my friend? "Job, your new name is Jojo Siwa."

What did I say to my friend, "Job, your new name is Jojo Siva?"

What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?

"Dang girl, you are so appealing!" 😙

If someone calls you dirty minded just say:

"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."

The best joke in the world is me.

Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.

What did the butt say to the other butt? "I got big fat apples for butt checks!"

What did the banana say to Ethan, Ryan, and Cooper?

"Hi!"

What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?

We’re wiped out!

One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"

The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"