If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day. Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
What’s an emo kids favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
When I went to the basketball pitch I saw a man dribbling his own balls
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight............do you think he saw us
one day little johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar johnny said can i have puff grandpa said can your dick touch your ass johnny said no then thats your answer later that day johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink johnny said can i have a sip grandpa said the same thing can your dick touch your ass johnny said no then thats your answer later that night johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchin grandpa said hi son can i have a cookie johnny said can your dick touch your ass grandpa said yes johnny said good go fuck yourself
Why did the titanic sink because he saw a iceberg selling candy
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them”. We then decided to aid him
I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied “I’m taking notes from the best” And vanished
I saw a kid in a wheelchair and he was getting bullied. I said "stand up for yourself"
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died he will let them in. The first one said I just finished a long day of work and I get home and right as I stepped in I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody so I got a drink and went to the balcony and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands but he wouldn’t fall so I threw a Refrigerator at him and I fell with the Refrigerator. God busted out laughing and let him in. The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, so get this I’m a window washer on the 8th floor I’m washing the windows like normal and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die. God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. So get this I’m in a refrigerator...
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. i grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs and said,"gta physics."
my kid runs in to day to tell me that he found a floating cow but when he got me to come and see all i saw was a pinata with a tail and white spots such a stuipid child so after that i gave him a nice refeshing drink from the tolit and a few of those choclet sprincles. (: in such a good parent...
I saw some twins so I threw a paper plane at them.
As a son I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him, and she don’t want to be with him no more, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny. Then I told my friend girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out, and wanted to co front me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happen then my mom said the same thing happen to me. I came home one day I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job I ask what’s going on. My friend told your mom is my new girlfriend & my mom said this is the penis of my dreams.
I went home to & I saw my friend kissing my sister I say what’s going on. They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said alright. The next morning I see my friend kissing my mom I said what going here. They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift I’m your best friend. 2 gift I’m your new brother n law. 3 gift I’m your new stepfather. I felt so happy I had a friend that looking out for me.
Unbelievable! When I searched “house of spades” all I saw was a slave home!
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off then he ask if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah the thing is my mom was coming out the shower naked and when she open the door it was me and the mailman. Now when the mailman sees me he says to me we got something in common we both saw your mom naked.
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead
I saw my midget neighbour at a bus stop
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home" I said.
"Bugger off" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man" I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
