Saw Jokes

My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarf's saw them they sang... "Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"

one time I walked in to a room and I saw a man and a dwarf and I soon found out that the man was the dwarfs father and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb so I asked "are you an orphan?" "Yes" he replied "what gave me away?" He asked "your parents" I said.

i saw some kid following me some i toled him to go back to his family orphan: what famliy

I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter it was pretty grate.

Walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by him self and he looked like he needed a hand so i offered to help, he said this is not a big screen TV its a Kindle!!

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application, I asked him to show me his skills and experience but he just started diving and asking for pens and tapins, I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

You know the song I saw mommy and Santa kissing apparently santas the mailman

So a blind guy is sitting on a park bench his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guys leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat. A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man. That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit. The blind man says Oh it’s not what you think I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the Ass.

I saw a kid crying yesterday and i asked him, “where are your parents”? Than he started crying harder.

I saw an orphan and i said, yo.

He said what do you want.

I said, "to be your new father"

"Realy??!" the orphan said,

Me, lol no.

Orphan *Jumps into street*

Little Johnny is in class one day and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says what's so funny? He said I can see your bra strap. The teacher says don't come back to class for a week, so he get up and walked out. A few minutes later little Billy starts laughing, and she ask what's funny now? Little Billy said I can see both of your bra straps. The teacher says get out of my class room for a month. So little Billy got pissed he walked out and slammed the door, this scared the teacher and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up then she stood back up and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked where do you think your going? He said well teach after what I saw I'm done with school for a lifetime.

A man died and went to heaven, everytime you cheat you get a worse car, the first man cheated 5 times he got a jeep, the second man cheat 3 times he got a BMW, the third man never cheated he got a Lamborghini, the second man saw the third man sad he said "why are you sad" the third man said "I saw my wife with a scooter".