Saw jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!

I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.

A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!

If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?

Batter up!

Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,

one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.

Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"

To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."

Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."

The police said "How old are you?"

Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.

You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.

Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.

They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.

I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.

Son: Where's grandma?

When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣

I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"