Said jokes

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.

"This place looks scary," the kid said.

And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣

One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.

Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"

McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.

Yo chin is so bumpy, someone said, "Is that Mt. Everest?"

Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.

Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."