Said jokes

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.

But I got fired from that job.

When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."

A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.

The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"

The second said: "I'd do it for free!"

The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"

The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.

Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"

Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"

The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."

One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.

Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.