When you go over a speed bump but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone
Me: dozes off while driving. everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11
My grandpa may be a pedo but at least he slows down in the school car park
When the speedbump in a school zone screams so you go faster
Q.What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
(Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped? No-one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up"
stop hating on pedos at least the drive slow in school zones
whats yellow and cant swim
a school bus full with children
I hate wearing a mask in public
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage
Priest: How the hell did that fire start Rabbi: I don't know but what about the children? Priest: Fuck the children Rabbi: Do we have time? Priest: There's always time for something like that.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? stopping it with a cricket bat
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. Thats the third one this week and its only monday
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures? Because they hate their lives and want to die.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
