Safe Jokes

Why boys feel safe at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch? Ronald McDonald's don't put his meat between boy's buns

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

Why did the duck get arrested

He tried to quack a safe

Farrah Fawcertt, upon arriving at the pearly gates, god asked her, for having lead such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe. Five hours later, Michel Jackson died.

Why can’t orphans play baseball Because they don’t know where home plate

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Q. How does an Isis terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

keep yourself safe!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

BlessedBrian, your secrets are safe with ME... because I wasn’t LISTENING when you told them

What is a necrophiliac safe word I’m alive

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

waht do you call a american house? a gun safe

A man entered in the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back in his account. The teller asked the man why did you withdraw the money and deposit back then the man replied i wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records. Lol

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.

There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)