Sad jokes

Vet

  • It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.

    He was a great vet.

    Orphan

  • Teacher: "I used to be an orphan once."

    Student: "That’s sad."

    Teacher: "Anyways, who is away today?"

    Student: "Your parents."

    Crush

  • High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

    Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

    High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

    Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

    High school crush: Who is it?

    Me: You.

    Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

    Me: Fuck that.

    Pregnancy

  • My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

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  • Orphan

  • Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

    Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

    Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

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  • Orphan

  • School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"

    Orphan: "My family never came back for me."

    School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."

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  • Penis

  • "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."

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  • Teacher

  • Vegan Teacher the musical.

    Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

    Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

    Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

    Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

    Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

    Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

    Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

    - Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

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