Ruin

Ruin jokes

Diss track

  • It was 2017, and lots of people were hating RiceGum because he released "Frick Da Police," a diss track insulting Idubbbz's Content Cop video on RiceGum.

    A few hours after the diss track was released, someone went to Rice's house and spray painted "Asian Jake Paul" on the wall of the front of his house.

    Rice went to "meet" Idubbbz, then he saw the graffiti.

    "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEE?"

    Hours later, police found 4 suspects.

    "Explain."

    Sus 1: I don't vandalize.

    Sus 2: I was staying indoors because it was rainy.

    Sus 3: I fucking hate RiceGum, but I would not ruin his cheap ass house lol.

    Sus 4: I eat bricks.

    Police: I know who.

    RiceGum: Who?

    Police: ITS-

    807907070707007607865909685780970695067586708650968095768076895708769875660980765970659062870907965607867856067586908

    Notice anything in the number crowd?

    Comment the answer below and I will see who is correct.

  • 7
  • Penaldo

  • I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡

  • 1
  • Suicide

  • A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.

    All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...

  • 0
  • Quote

  • Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

    "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

  • 1
  • Chicken

  • Why'd the chicken cross the road?

    That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!

    Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.

    Reason

  • Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.

    Orphan

  • Orphan jokes protest. Anonymous.

    Orphan jokes are just funny so stop trying to ruin our fun!

    Comments:

    Gwen: Stop! It is not funny. Orphans are just out their cold, weak, and need someone! And the jokes are not funny!

    Shut up: Shut up!

    Liv: Gwen stop!!

    Gwen: SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!!!!!

    Friend

  • I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

  • 1
  • Rainbow

  • What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

    One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

  • 1
  • Pedophile

  • My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

    It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

  • 18
  • Man

  • Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?

    No, I'm blind.

    Stop ruining my jokes.

    Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?

    It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.

  • 1
  • Car

  • As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.

    So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."

    Jack and Jill

  • We're gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill.

    They’re draining the economy doooown!

    They’ve spent our budget on weed

    and lube to spill Jack’s seed.

    They’ve ruined our wonderful town!

    We're gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill.

    They have no moralityyyy.

    They’re spreading degeneracy.

    We ain't what we used to be.

    We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,

    but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.

    They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.

    Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.

    We’re gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill!

    They’ve banked off buying boooze!

    They’ll drink and sell the price

    at the original times thrice.

    Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.

    We’re gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill.

    Their kids’re in the business tooo!

    They’re draining all our banks.

    Give 'em well deserved spanks.

    We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.

    Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.

    What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!

    A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.

    It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!

    WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!

  • 1
  • Coach

  • The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

    Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

    One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

    He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

    Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

    He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

    The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

    "Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

    "Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

    The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

    "I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

    Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

  • 11
  • Penaldo

  • Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

    We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

    Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

  • 1
  • Puberty

  • God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.

    Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.

    God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.

    Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!

    God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)

    Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)

    God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!

    God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........

    God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.

  • 1