Decay jokes

What's red and in a corner?

A baby with a razor blade.

What's green and in a corner?

The same baby three weeks later.

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the frog's fingers.

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?

Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.

Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.

What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?

A corpse, of course!

What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.