Rob Jokes

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"

Once a naked women robs a bank but sadly no one can remember her face...

I robbed a person in a wheelchair, he cried and said: "you can run but you cant hide". I ran and i never saw him again

How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?

The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion? Because there not wanted yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank;)

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy

yo mama so fat when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed they thought AHH SWAT

The bakery I worked at got robbed, they demanded the dough, aparently it couldn't be baked first.

Shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store. He was asked to give an EGGsplanation.

i would rather be drugged and robbed by cardi b than listen to her fucking music

One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said...... It’s a wood hulem

The bakery where I work is being robbed I said to the people I am calling the police then I realized they did not come for the money they came for the bread. Huh go figure.

A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.

After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."

On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me

12 tap ins 11 pointless dribbles 10 fixed league titles 9 missed penalties 8-2 6 dives 500million robbed from Barca 4 ucl semi losses 3 times he blamed higuain 2 retirements And a transfer to a farmers league

Your so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.

Inmate 1: why u in prison then? Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, watta bout u? Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus Inmate 2:OMG YOU DEMON WERE THEY AUTISTIC? Inmate 1: no they were fortnite kids Inmate 2(who is Muslim): halelouia we have found the messiah