Rob jokes
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he wanted to be wanted.
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
So, three guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank.
The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man.
The second one goes for his uncle's vault because screw that son of a b***h; he’s rich, why does he need all the money? But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephew's neck.
The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought, “Well, that b***h can suck my d**k; she’s so poor anyway, who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness?” So he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day, the third guy's ex showed up to his house and said, “I’m gonna f*****g murder you,” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house.
In hell, the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked, “You know, I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house, why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said, “B***h, I don’t know, maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already.”
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
Stop doing these orphan jokes, please, Rob.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank? He did not have the guts!
Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.
Community talk
lowkey if dis billionaire thing don’t work out i might jus start robbing ppl
I almost got Robbed when walking my dog and all I had was a ten year old with a knife and my brother with the dog while the roofers had a gun and knuckle brass what would you do in my situation (p.s. they were scared of me when I confronted them because I was taller)
if you rob a store naked as a minor no one can look at the security footage without committing a crime.