Road jokes
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
What did the pickle do on the road?
It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
Floor on the road?
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
What is the road on a hill?
Hillside.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.