Road jokes
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
What’s big and black on the road?
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.
We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.