Road jokes
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
What did the pickle do on the road?
It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
Floor on the road?
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
What is the road on a hill?
Hillside.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!