Riddles
What is a dog with only two legs? A human.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's black and white?
History.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal? One's a busy ditch.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope...
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂